Writer's Block

I'm experiencing a severe bout of writer's block.
Not here, on the blog. Apparently there's no end to stories about my life.
But I'm sick of writing about me all the time.

I started writing a play a few weeks ago. About a year ago or so, the Muse and I went to see the Caryl Churchill play "Drunk Enough to Say I Love You?" After the play we slowly wandered up to Nowhere Bar on 14th Street and 1st Avenue, talking about the play and what we were doing theatrically/artistically. The answer, as all too often is the case, was nothing. And so I took on the challenge to write a screenplay with the Muse in mind. Why a screenplay? Well, I was sick of theatre and I had some ideas and most of them seemed more cinematic than theatrical. Also, the idea of writing something fairly localized and contained that we could then shoot on our own time with a camera somewhere seemed more accessible than renting rehearsal space, renting a theatre, finding PR money, finding an audience, etc. Foolish boy. Over the course of a month or so I did write the screenplay, finishing it in Mexico when the Loved One and I were on vacation. I haven't touched it since. I had wanted to do a reading of it before tackling a second draft but I got scared...lazy...yeah, that about covers it. And I hadn't touched it. Until last week when the Muse filmed a scene from it for personal reasons and it re-lit the spark.

Anyway, the Muse and I have been talking about other ideas that's I've had. I gave her two books I'm fascinated with and want to turn into plays. One, a memoir, really touched my heart and I think can be turned into a stellar one-woman or small cast show. I can't seem to get the publisher or agents to return my faxes. Its times like this an agent of my own would be extremely helpful. And a trust fund. The other story, a non-fiction tale, is utterly compelling but very close thematically to Grey Gardens. In fact, one of the women is even named Edie. So that remains on my list of "To Be Done." In the meantime, I focused my attention on another story I found in the New York Times some five years ago or so.

Based on a true story, I did try for a short while to obtain the rights from the Times. Then I realized that being based on real life events, this probably wasn't entirely necessary. After a few months of emailing back and forth with the Times and with various agents it seemed to have gone away. In the state I was in, I let it. But the story kept coming back and knocking, annoyingly, in my head. It wanted to get out. It wanted to be told. It needed a voice. In fact, I had started writing it a few years ago as a novel not as a play. But in its heart, it wanted to be a play.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was going to veer dramatically from the real life events it was based on so I started writing. And I was writing every day. I would spend an hour or so in the morning on the blog and then an hour or so in the afternoon on the play. But now the play seems to have gone away. I didn't really plot it out beforehand; I would just sit down and write. The more I wrote, the more the voices of the character came through. Much like the more I wrote on this blog, the more my own voice came through.

But now the voices in my head seem to have gone away for a short time and I'm in limbo once again.

The play, written once again with the Muse in mind, has turned into something of a cross between 'All About Eve' and 'The Talented Mr. Ripley.' I know where work is needed in what I've written already but I don't want to do that work until I've finished a draft. But the characters have slipped away. It's symptomatic of my current mental state. I find it hard now to sit at this desk and write every day. There's no inspiration. I find it hard to communicate what I'm feeling, thinking and wanting; let alone what imaginary characters in my head feel/think/want. I'm frustrated. I don't know how to be a working artist/writer/director. I want to commit to something and see it through. I need to unblock myself. Perhaps some Activia will work. It restarted Jamie Lee Curtis's career.